Well, the run began off old Hwy 90 & S. Main, on what I would call the first nasty “Africa hot” day of the year in Houston. The large crowd milled about a sticky Fiesta parking lot; High Maintenance & I comparing ball gowns, & boiling over with anticipation to hear the results of the 1998 Hash erections. The trail immediately delivered the promised shiggy, winding thru a field chock full o’ briars, tall grass and various unidentified fauna. The pack moved into and quite slowly through the woods, following the trail of flour & fresh blood left by Roller Balls & Grind Slut, who fell victim to the obligatory section of hidden barbed wire… Roller & I were the first to follow trail across the road to the first water check, cleverly situated behind a building on a raised platform…and we continued along the fence line. We came upon the walkers as we started through a gate (remember to close it!) & down a cow path. Roller & the Manhandler accused Eat Tail, Suck Head of racing as he blew past us, as commented that the were content to follow a “fine Bimbo in tights”. Later, I bullied the “homo in question” into following the flour over the pile of dried horse manure, and we soon discovered that we could have easily picked up trail on the other side… We trail then left the shady sanctity of the woods & crossed the “neighborhood that never happened” and a large field that brought us to a bayou. (We did appreciate that “Hash View” - Y’all be careful on the way back to trailer park now, ya hear?!) Oh yes, did I mention that it was hot? I still maintain that my tights were a good idea--I can always slow down if I’m too warm, but the shiggy wounds and poison ivy linger for a long time. After traveling around some neighborhoods, a Blond Bitch appeared on our left after a successful paralleling maneuver. The Hash Gods smiled upon me at the last really crucial check, as I dove into the woods, outsmarting Hand Cream, Mudpacker & the other FRB’s. The long-legged bastards did get past me in the bayou terrain, and suddenly we spotted Grind & Heavin’ Semen on the far side of the ditch! Where did they come from?!! After crawling under the last obligatory barbed-wire fence, (its so nice to look up from a crouch to find you are poised in poison ivy), and soon it was “Beer Near”, and there was much rejoicing. The Elks lodge hosted our On-Home, complete with dancing, Thai’d One’s fantastic catering, and A SWIMMIN’ POOL! After the pack came in, the circle commenced, along with the announcing of the new Mis-managers, (at out first meeting, the female faction of MM decided that a more positive could be attained with a better name, such as Pete’s Goodtime Gals, Swimmin’ with Bowlegged Women, or Encouraging Cummers). Some highlights of the evening: Many other memories with surface in the weeks (and photos) to come…On, on friends… Hugs and Kisses, "Gaslight" |
THE INAUGURAL BALLHASH RUN #
1008 Venue: FIESTA PARKING LOT OFF S. POST OAK
AND MAIN Hares: "SARAN CRAP" &
"SUCH-A-PUSS"