Here comes the bride, here comes the bride. The hash gathered at 3:00 at the appropriate starting place, the Presbyterian Church on Main. The hares, “Fire Tunnel”, “Zit Sucker”, “Pump Me”, were dressed inappropriately in white (well at least “FT” and “ZS”). The hares requested that the hounds wear their best bridesmaid dress and I believe that “Reverend Bob” took the cake. He looked dashing in his shiny, teal gown. (Nice choice “Rev”, the color looked good with your skin tone). The hares called for the hound’s attention to start the pack. “Fire Tunnel”, said that since they already had their diamonds, there would be no blowjobs. “Such-A-Puss” and “Eargasm” had looks of dismay on their faces. Promptly (did I say promptly) at 3:30 the pack was off! We ran through the sculpture garden of MFA and over to Herman Park. When checking for trail by the Sam Houston statue, the packed separated. Some headed away from the park. The group I was in headed through the rose garden, to the pagoda and through a hole in the fence. I guess since this was a “trail about love” it seems appropriate that “Sweet Seat” and “Gary” came across a romantic scene. They saw wine, glasses, and food but no people. They did see a moving blanket, I guess the couple were practicing for their wedding night. From Herman, trail headed towards Almeda and turned left along the horse field. We took a left on Binz and then zigzagged through the hood. We made quiet the scene with the brothers, I swear I heard one guy say “Now, that’s something you don’t see everyday, a bunch of folk running and there ain’t cops chasing them!” Trail headed to HCC, at Alabama and Austin, through the campus to Holman. We had a water check at the bridal shop we bought our dresses at for “Fire Tunnel’s” wedding – hey does that entitle us for a discount? The trail cut to the west over to Main and through some churches. I was one of the lucky ones by cutting off part of the trail by continuing down Main till we hit the 59 feeder, turned right and headed straight into the on-on. But the trail spiraled off by the Jiffy Lube on Main, went through the flower shops on Fannin, through part of a neighborhood, and then to the on-on. The on-on was under 59 and beautifully decorated. We even had birdseed showered on us upon arrival. I guess the hares were confused from their pre-wedding jitters, because when they were looking for the end they were in their car and never got out to check the noise level. Who would ever think that ending right next to an entrance ramp for a freeway would be loud? The pack got in at just about one hour. I have to bask in the glory of beating my significant other in, since in all the years of hashing it’s happened about 4 times! We ate snacks and of course wedding cake. “Tonka Fuck” called the circle and down-downs commenced. I don’t remember the new boots names. We had lots of good accusations. The hares had to drink for vvvvvvvrrrrrrrooooooommmmmmm, “Saran Crap” called out “Manhandler” and accused him of vvvvvvvrrrrrrrooooooommmmmmm, and then “Such-A-Puss was accused for vvvvvvvrrrrrrrooooooommmmmmm. Get the idea – you couldn’t hear any of the accusations because of the cars entering the freeway. The hares had to drink a few times for that. I don’t know how someone didn’t have an accident while entering the freeway. I bet they were thinking it was a big homeless gathering! We had a lesson in selecting diamonds; thank goodness they had pictures because I couldn’t hear a damn thing! The hares awarded prizes to the best bridesmaid. Unfortunately, “Rev Bob” had left to get his car and “Boy George” stole his glory. I especially liked the bouquet of gummy penises – now why didn’t I think of that for my wedding. The on-on-on was at some bar that the hares didn’t even know the name of. It was on Fannin and had a Sprite sign in the front of the building (tha’t how the hares explained it). We went to have a beer and left. With the day filled with wedding spirit, people left to have simulated honeymoons. Scribed by: Stop-n-Blow |
“DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND” SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1997 RUN
NUMBER 993 VENUE: MAIN @ OAKDALE HARES: “FIRE TUNNEL” “PUMP ME” & “ZIT
SUCKER”