Pre-run activities: I arrived at 3:00 and noted more hashers in the parking lot than I have ever seen before this early. Was it the announcement that there were going to be $3.00 T-shirts or what? Speaking of T-shirts, the hares were doing a hot and heavy business pushing their Deep Throat II T’s at $3.00 a pop. Hashers were lining up 5 deep to get one of these originals, and I do mean originals. “Saran Crap” said he was still feeling woozy from smelling the spray paint fumes from the night before. Just for an added bit of controversy I noticed they used the non-official Hash Logo from the Day of the Dead Hash. This should be enough to get “Full Service”, “Half Moon” and “Muscle Phahrt” just to mention a few wound up again. Hey guys, when can we expect to start seeing fiery emails about how these two “young” hash rebels refuse to conform to the “Houston Hash Tradition?”, givem hell! Our surprise guest of honor, “The President”, arrived about 3:15 proudly displaying his willie. Hell, even Monica showed up however we didn’t find this out until much later, like halfway through the circle. The hash: At 3:35 the hares called the troops together for pre-run instructions. “Saran Crap” had evidently came straight from work as he was still proudly supporting his McDonalds Golden Arch suit. “Manhandler” on the other hand looked as if he had just come from the new Blues Brothers 2000 movie, complete with sunglasses, suit, tie, and pimp shoes. They promised us plenty of blow jobs, after all we “were” honoring our beloved President. Normally a promise of a blow job would get me excited however coming from the likes of “Saran Crap” and his twin brother “Manhandler” it just didn’t seem as enticing! With a point of a finger we were off on a grand tour of what must have been either the 3rd, 4th, or 5th ward of Houston. I certainly wouldn’t want to do a “Full Moon” or any other night hash anywhere around this place, my gold bracelet was attracting way too much attention! This was definitely one of those times you wanted to make sure you stuck with a pack of other hashers and that’s just what I did. Surrounded by the likes of “Half Moon”, “Smelly Trench”, “Zoltan”, “Bad Date” & and his vicious watch dog” we managed to safely stick together. Now I know where they gather all their stories for the 10:00 News! An hour and twenty minutes later we spotted the on-on, the only problem was that we were on the opposite side of the Bayou. We were willingly coaxed into crossing the Bayou with promises of “it’s not deep” & “it’s not cold”. The not deep part turned out to be true but I personally thought it was plenty cold. Fortunately it was only knee deep and my family jewels were spared the agony they would have been exposed to otherwise. Post-hash: There was two kegs of beer, a dark and a light, thanks to “Roller Balls”. So engrossed with setting that “awesome” trail the hares had forgotten all about the beer. “Roller” bailed them out by making an emergency trip and picking up the keggers for them. The circle was windy and cold, but this didn’t seem to deter the spirits or beer drinking any. A ton of New Boots were given their down-downs. Why does it seem like every time we have a lot of New Boots we have one of these hashes that keeps them on trail for two hours. Hopefully some of them will give us another try. I somehow don’t figure we will see Linda (the Monica stand in) back. If she does happen to return after all the abuse she took in the circle we’ll know she’s a true hasher! The circle went on for about 2 hours or so it seemed. The hares had ran off to purchase pizza’s so “Tonka” did a good job of entertaining the mob until they returned. Fifteen hot pizza’s seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. Once the aroma of these puppy’s hit the air the circle quickly dispersed. Four and a half minutes later there wasn’t a slice left to be found. The on-on-on: While out negotiating the price of pizza’s with Domino’s and Little Caesar’s the hares suddenly remembered they hadn’t set up an on-on-on. What’s this fixation you two have for not being able to organize beer? Luckily they happened to pass this little Ice House on Telephone road and remembered enough to give us vague directions. If you missed this on-on-on you missed the
best part of the day. Seventeen of us had a great time, nineteen if you include the two
guys working the bar which joined us in song and drink. By the end of the night “Full
Service” had sold them both hash hats and On-On feet stickers for their cars. To show
their appreciation they in turn treated us to a left over vegetable tray that had seen
it’s better days and promised to see us at the next hash. God hashing is fun!
Great hash boys . . . job well done! |
DEEP THROAT II – (The Clinton Blowjob Hash) SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1997 RUN NUMBER
994 VENUE: WOODRIDGE @ CITY PARK HARES: “MANHANDLER” & “SARAN CRAP”