Editorial note: If you don’t like my grammar or whatever, go do a swan dive off the Chase Bank (formerly Texas Commerce!) Tower downtown. Soon after the start, the pack went under I-45 and found ourselves blazing down a two – track (Mich. Country talk – ask “Will-He-Peter”) into the woods. The hares did a nice job of getting most of the pack sucked into a false trail. We back tracked to a bridge on the feeder where we crossed Cypress Creek (?) and were On-Call following “GEEK”!!! At this point, I became very concerned that we might end up in Conroe or Cut-N-Shoot. I was shocked to discover we were actually on trail! After heading northbound on the feeder the pack turned to the east and headed for the woods. This is where the fun started. It was an absolute shiggy paradise. There were numerous gullies all throughout the woods. Some jumping (or crawling!) over gullies was required. In addition there was also the usual Texas woods like fallen trees, huge thorns, (lemon bush?) and other flesh tearing plants. “Roller Balls”, “Beetle Juice”, this writer (Security report terminology), and a host of others here paralleling the pack on one side of a gully. At one point there was a false trail and then true trail leading across a green pipe which I guestimate was about 10’ to 12’ over the water. After this first section of woods the pack returned to daylight along a bayou which was ? I spotted a turkey buzzard which was considering “Ass Grabber” as a snack. There was a larger buzzard in the sky which was a metal cigar. As “Lube Job” pushed me down the bayou the trail turned to the east again and went under the Hardy Toll Road. The trail led to a fenced in facility that I believe was a waste treatment plant. The trail followed the fence line where we arrived at a road which led to the “shit lake”. Shortly after getting a whiff is about the time I started gaggin’ and chokin’. Did anybody else come close to puking? At the On-On it was reported to this writer that “Grind Slut” & “Wee Willie Wanker” were spotted frolicking (Brown-eye action?) in the shit lake. A road led us next to the lake and a back check. “John Boy” and several others blew through the back check. After going past the back check “John Boy” returned to comment that “and we were winning!” (which he later paid for or rewarded for in the down-down circle). At this point “Saran Crap”, “Tiger Bum”, “Pipes”, “John Boy” and this writer went back into the thicket as “Hong Boy” found true trail. Once again there were noted bullies to cross. We arrived at some dirt roads (biking and motorcycle trails) and eventually crossed a sea of sand. (Not Namibia!) Back into the forest again and on-on to a “controversial part” of the trail. A spot where you had to swim across Cypress Creek which I personally thought was lovely. After pacing back and forth on a small island for several minutes and witnessing others plunge into the frigid waters this writer finally dove in and crossed. The current was substantial and the water woke your ass up! I was more concerned about H2O temperature tan the current. “Stick Lips” crossed and said to Richard?, “catch me!” Upon hearing that “Roller Balls” said “stick your dick out!” Warning: You can stop reading now if so desired. On-On through the woods, along the bank and then a straight shot down a fence line (another treatment facility) which continued to a road that led to some concrete at the corner of Briar Creek St. and Old Birch (?0 St. At this point the pack numbered approximately 20 – 30. From there it was a straight shot down Briar Creek street through a neighborhood? (ask Hog if your interested), across 1960, behind a strip center past a day care playground (visions of “Norma Jean” danced through my head) and through the Mueschke Cemetery to the welcome sight of the ON HOME! By the time we arrive “Shuttlecock” had dug the graves, buried the bodies, planted the flowers and built the fence in the cemetery! What an ambitious fellow!!! It was lovely to find that there was no yellow beer in sight! Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark as “Hog Straddler” would say, “The trail was phenomenal”. I give it 5 stars. Mugs up to “Hog Straddler” and “Fire Tunnel”!!! Good job! Due to the H2O crossing Hog had to sweep trail and rescue some individuals. The rescue truck arrived with “Tom Swift”, “Finger Fuck”, “Will-He-Peter”, “Golden Shower”, “I Scream”, “Smelly Trench”, “Not Nice Hole”, Julia, and “Fuckawi”. “Lube Job” told me about something to the effect of hashers freezing in the truck and “Hog Straddler” calling on the cell phone to ask for directions. “Roller Balls” led the down-down circle. I did notice that “Roller Balls” arrived at the On-On with a muzzle attached to his penis. A lot of shit happened in the down-down circle but this writer is reaching SBO. Welcome to New Boot Jennifer Roth. A big thank you to “Hog Straddler” and “Fire Tunnel” for another great Bock-Us Bash Run!!! (Politics: Think about this one when it comes to vote on “Run of the Year” later in 1998!) F.Y.I. . . After examining about ¾ of the Mueschke Cemetery the oldest departure date (i.e. death) was “Infant Daughter of W.E. & Martha Mittlestedt born July 18th, 1898 Died July 19, 1998 . . . Are you happy now? Isn’t this a great country! Love,
“CHOO-CHOO” (1426 03/06/98)
Hashing has certain inherent risks which any of us who have been at it for years accept or we ought to retire. That should not mean, however that SAFETY is not an issue. If that were the case, we should have more trails down the middle of the Interstates. Moreover, no hare should ever ask the pack to do anything they have not done themselves. Finally there are many ways to increase the safety of water crossings. The most frequent method is to give the hounds an out via an accessible alternate crossing within a quarter mile max. Another is to drop in logs or tie a rope to allow crossing at some reasonable level of risk. In any event, check the crossing close to run time and / or be there to “spot” the crossing. Houston HHH has never had a fatality, lets keep it that way. OnOn! "Can’t Hound" |
BOCK-US BASH IV SUNDAY, MARCH 01,
1998 RUN NUMBER 997 VENUE:
CYPRESS STATION HARES: “HOG STRADDLER” &
“FIRE TUNNEL”