Date: October 1, 2000

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What a day for Hashing! For those of us that were anxious about the day’s run and had called the hotline early were treated to a lovely, but drunken, female voice telling us the hash would take place somewhere around Jones Road – "Take a left, then a right, then a left, then a right." Damn Austin hasher had infiltrated the Houston hotline and tried to lead us astray! But alas, it didn’t work, by mid-afternoon the hotline was updated we were given directions that guided us to Moore Elementary on the Northwest side of town (Jones Road and Cypresswood). We pulled up to the parking lot at 5:25 p.m. just in time to see the majority of the pack taking off back behind the school. There were plenty of hashers still there who had, just like us, not gauged the amount of time it would take to drive to the start and had arrived a little late.

The first portion of the trail kept the pack pretty much together. The first water crossing came pretty quick. It wasn’t too deep or dirty, and wasn’t moving very quickly. After a decent length run on the right side of the water we found we had to cross it yet again. This time the water was deep (we swam), it didn’t smell so good, and it was stagnant - yuck. The trail after our swim was enjoyable and in shade along what looked like some type of dirt bike path. Back on the left side of the water, we came to a water check, a bridge and hashers on both sides of the water. Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Balut and Rear Layer stayed on the left side, while most of the pack crossed the bridge, got on the right side of the water and found trail. At a check a short way into this portion of the trail, new trail couldn’t be found and several hashers noticed Balut and Rear Layer still on the other side of the water, running with determination (as if they were on trail) directly away from us. Hmm, what to do, what to do? "Are you?" we called. Silence from the other side. "Are you?" we called. Silence from the other side. Finally, "ON-ON" called from our side of the water. Off we went, never to cross paths with the hashers from the other side until they showed up five minutes AFTER the circle was over.

We wound our way through more dirt bike trails with plenty of runnable shiggy (just as promised). Some good checks lead the pack apart several times but most everyone caught back up once true trail was found. For those of us in the back, it was good to have Will He Peter out there on his bike like a sheep herding dog making sure we were all ok.

The next big "Hmmm, what to do, what to do?" challenge for several of us came when a large portion of the pack was NOT on trail (or at least not letting us know vocally that they were) but running fast and furious along the backside of a neighborhood. Just as the pack was rounding a corner and disappearing out of sight a call of "On-on" came from behind

and to the right of us – right through a group of trees and the backside of another neighborhood – the opposite direction of where we were running. Hmm, true trail or follow the pack not on trail. Zoltan, Can’t Hound and I decided to follow true trail which after 15 minutes of running and working out a check, lead us about 100 yards away from where we were following those who were not on trail. Damn the bad luck! Eventually we found our way through the last bit of dirt bike trail (on which I swear Pump Me got a ride from a local dirt biker but she wouldn’t admit it) to the beer near sign and with great relief were able to say we were done!

The FRBs (I think Roller Balls was one) came in about an hour after the start and the DFL, Putrified Penis, finally arrived at On-On-On at about 8:30 p.m. (three hours after the start). Luckily for him, Rich (no hash name, just plain ole’ Rich) felt bad about him being out on trail after the circle was over and everyone was leaving, so went to look for him. Story goes Putrified was within _ mile of the end, but we’ll never know the truth.

As Roller Balls lead the circle to welcome new boots it dawned on me that if you squinted and imagined him naked, New Boot Kevin looked an awful lot like the guy that sent an email saying he’d like to come to a hash and included a picture of himself naked, with his back facing the camera and a full keg of beer over his head. Both Halfmoon and I descended upon New Boot Kevin to confirm our suspicions and found that yes, he was the keg man. He then proceeded to lift the empty keg over his head (should have caught him in the beginning so it could have been full) but he refused to be naked. Damn the bad luck! The circle was a quick one (because there was no beer left) but not so quick this hash was Roller Balls’ duck and cover when his sarong came flying off. Let’s just say that I, as well as many others, now have a front visual to the back visual we got at the Mafia Hash.

The On-On-On was held at Broken Ferret and included one free round of beer for everyone compliments of Trail Head and Orient Queer, as well as food! Great day, great trail, great beer, great food, great people. Gee, it’s swell to be a Hasher!