Date: February 4, 2001

Run No: 1160

Hares: Roller Balls

Wow, what a day, the weather was perfect, the day was exquisite, one of those flawless Houston "winter" days…it was a hashing day!! The pack gathered on some dead end road off of Beltway 8 east of town. Saran Crap was overheard exclaiming his excitement at all of the recent development in the area, the addition of new roads, would ensure that we would have a pavement run, and this would help him to have a faster time to finish the trail.  But this was not to be………the first twenty steps of the trail found us already sinking into the mud, which was to become very familiar underfoot throughout the trail.  We headed off North (or what I perceived North to be) into the Blair Witch Woods with the pack hopping over downed trees, diving under low branches, and skirting around prickly bushes (no wait she wasn’t there?) I caught the tail end of a conversation that Humbug was having with himself, as he was nearly taken out by Buddy, something about *@#&$#** dogs. Ass Grabber aka Ass Dragger and Toe Jam aka Which way do I go Jam seemed to be moving kinda slow after their stellar DFL performance at the Space City hash the day before.

From the check, the pack immediately split out in several directions tromping through the mud, now this was no ordinary mud, this was not your black, disgusting, oily sludge mud, no this was virgin mud, this mud was the color of Cappuccino served in bed while reading the Travel section of the Sunday morning newspaper with the latest unsuspecting new boot hashman…glorious mud. I was on trail with Trailhead, Bald Eagle, The Pits and Pineapple and we eventually found trail heading east, stumbling down through creek beds (dang that water was cold, made my balls shrink up) and over embankments. There was a makeshift bridge over the creek, but you just couldn’t get there from here.

After several more checks we ended up at the Wanker/Eagle split. Heading off on the Eagle Trail we stumbled on through the mud, did I mention the quality of this mud, wonderful, gooey, shoe sucking mud, the color and consistency left me craving Kahlua and Cream…and Richard, the pectorally endowed bartender working in a ski lodge high up in the Colorado Rockies. We had been warned about the split by the hare, and demised that the Eagle part of the trail was really a large circle jerk, however, did that stop The Pits and from trying to short cut

it…NO.  As we stumbled out of the woods onto a dirt road, we saw the FRB’s crossing the same road from the other direction, Cool, Shortcut! But to get there, we had to tromp through more mud, this was golden mud, mud the color of a bronzed Cabana Boy bringing me ice cold Heinekens as I lay on a beach on a deserted island somewhere in the Caribbean. From the split in the trail we sloshed through water for quite awhile, losing ground on the pack as Turtle Brains and I got to talkin’ about girl stuff. Eventually we saw the walkers who were wandering around lost in the woods. How long you been doing this Mr. T? We weren’t exactly on trail, but saw a clearing and headed for it. Woo Hoo On In!!

On On

Your faithful Scribe,

Shiggy 40

Too much info from the hare beforehand -4

Mud 30

Visions conjured up by mud 20

Concrete at the On In -3

Wanker shortcut -6

Total hash rating 77**

** A proper hash trail usually adds up to 69, however, your scribe chose not to take points off for running out of beer, besides nothing wrong with 77…you get eight more!