Get Me to the Chuch On Time

Run # 1164

Hares: Hairy Palms, WoWMoMWoW, Space Needle Dick, High Maintenance

March 4, 2001

Let me start this by telling you that this was the weekend that started with Stop-N-Blow’s 30^th birthday party at St. Arnold’s on Friday, then onto the BLT (Black Tie, Lingerie, Toga) party at WoWMoMWoW and Hairy Palm’s house on Saturday night. By the time Sunday came, I was one hurtin’ hasher!

We arrived at 3:35 p.m., “We’re late, we’re late, we’re late for an important date!” - the Get Me to the Church on time hash! As we drove up, we saw the pack take off in a sea of white (except for Hooter Bill of course.) EZFag jumped out of the truck with the keys in the ignition and the door still open to join the pack. I, on the other hand, was left behind to pay hash cash, collect our beer stop coupons, put our hash bags in the shag wagon, blah, blah, blah. That left me running at top speed (still pretty slow) through Houston streets hungover, sunglasses on, head pounding, in a white wedding dress.

My first sight of the pack was Boy George floating by on his roller skates with his long hair and wedding dress flowing behind him. I finally caught the pack at the first beer check where the entire pack was treated to a free beer (yes, Pearl beer, but still free beer). I finally got to check out some of the outfits and didn’t even recognize Stinky Pussy Foot in his wig, dress and sunglasses. The only one who didn’t join us was Hooter Bill who decided he would continue on and beat the rest of the pack to the end. HA! It was a live-hared run and the second leg hadn’t been laid yet. Space Needle Dick then took off from the first beer check and laid the second leg of the run. To be honest, I really don’t remember the route we took to the second beer check – I was still really hungover and couldn’t think of anything but a big plate of Mexican food. We ran for about 20 more minutes and arrived at the second beer check. Again, the pack was treated to another free beer (yes, you had to pay to upgrade to BudLight but still, free beer), and Hooter Bill continued his personal protest on dress runs by running circles around the bar waiting for the pack to continue the run.

The pack then took off for the third leg of the run. Before getting to the third beer check, Burning Rubber found a mattress that was thrown to the side of the road. Luckily, I had my camera and was able to snap a shot of him romping around on the mattress trying to seduce someone to come romp with him. We also passed a church with a big smiling chalk face which lead me to believe that the next beer check would be the last. Blasted! It wasn’t. One more leg to go. At the third beer check I got the story about Stop-N-Blow’s enormous head piece, which she had strapped to her helmet. It was the actual headpiece she was married in. Then I heard that WoWMoMWoW’s wedding dress was a dress that she bought to get married in, but didn’t. HA! I win, I was wearing the actual dress I DID get married in!

The pack was off for the fourth, and final, leg of the run. We ran in some direction, for what seemed like hours – head pounding, Mexican food calling – it was probably about 20 minutes, and we finally end up at a park across the street from the King Bisquit. Yeah, the On-On! The hash gathered for group pictures and then the circle. Dick the Boy Wonder started the circle with a seven minute hash ceremony to marry the newlyweds Hairy Palms, WoWMoMWoW, Space Needle Dick, and High Maintenance. The circle then welcomed newboots, visitors, and transfers (no of whom I can remember – mmmmmm, Mexican food…..)

The hares had set up an awesome On-On-On across the street on the outside deck of the King Bisquit, with more beer and great food. I finally got my Mexican food on the way home, took two asprin, drank two gallons of water and went to bed. What a weekend!

On-On,

Shit On a Shingle