More Hares Then Hounds Hash

Run # 1165

Hares: Toe Jam, Hairy Bellyfonte, Bend Over Whitey, Dumpster Digger, EZFag, Amanda, Anus Flytrap

March 11, 2001

It had rained a little in the morning, and throughout the day there were sprinkles, but that didn’t stop hashers from going to the east side of town, East I-10 and 610, for the promise of a great hash. We started on the North side of I-10 and took off south to find trail. “All the shiggy is on the North side of I-10, we’re going the wrong way for shiggy”, complained Heartache as we headed south. Next thing I know Group Sex’s Willy is running out in front of a truck, and just by the skin of his teeth, he doesn’t get run over. What a way to start a hash – whining and escaping death – this is going to prove to be a great day!

The hounds crossed over I-10 and then headed east, south, made a turn and headed west. We came to a beer check about 15 minutes into the run. A titty bar – oh, how special. The hash disappeared into the dark, music pounding bar and didn’t return for about 10 minutes. Just enough time to pound a beer, tip a couple of dancers and get prepared for the rest of the run. Sticky Lips and I stayed outside to watch Willy (who wanted to go in but there was some rule about all customers having opposable thumbs) and to steer the end of the pack into the bar. After the fun was had the hash was off again. “That was as stimulating as a cold shower”, complained Humbug as he started off on the second part of the run.

At some point, I don’t know when, we ended up back on the north side of I-10 and in some great shiggy. At one point we ended up on a blow job that through about 10 of us for a serious loop – we had passed the check and didn’t see it. Finally, Dryhose found true trail and the pack was off again. After coming out of very dense part of shiggy, we ended up at a steep slippery slope of mud that bottomed at a stream. Some hashers went down butt first, some went down like they were skiing and some just tumbled. Bend Over Whitey was on the other side of the stream capturing it all on film. He then joined us as we followed trail, lost trail, and found trail again. We finally found the second promised beer check. This one was on a great deck in the middle of the shiggy overlooking a stream (bayou, whatever). We took off from the last beer check and headed toward the end. The trail led us through some great running trails that ended us at the on-home.

Toe Jam had been up all night making homemade tortillas, smoked chicken, sausage, brisket and tons of other great food. After we all stuffed ourselves, SlumBag lead us in a great circle. We welcomed transfer Salt Water Taffy from Bakersfield, California, and a new boot that Stinky Pussy Foot and Rain Bitch brought to check out the hash. Toe Jam presented the Hooter Bill award to me, which was promptly stolen out of my truck, and Heartache, Will He Peter and Saran Crap did a round of accusations to each other for all sorts of crazy stuff (including one that had Womb Service down on his knees in front of Heartache – which will take a while to block out of my mind).

Most of the hash then proceeded to the On-On-On at the ???? (I don’t remember). A few hashers stayed around looking for “My Hooter”, drinking the beer that was still left, and crushing beer cans with their butt cheeks. If my mom could see me now, she’d be so proud!

Great hash hares!

On-On,

Shit On a Shingle