THE SLUT HASH
Run 1243
July 28, 2002
Hares:
Grind Slut, Bump Slut and Gaslight
Venue: West Houston
Write up by:Rain Bitch
Joke:
Q: What's the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A: A Slut will sleep with anybody, but a Bitch will sleep with anybody BUT YOU!
The Trail:
Well, the difference between The Bitch Run and The Slut Run is that the Bitch Run the week before fucked everybody by being 6 miles long in 95 degree heat, while the Slut Run was probably the way most men like their sluts -- short, sweet and easy.
After a slightly confusing set a directions, a rather large group made it to a bridge somewhere down Westheimer Boulevard (or something like that). BUMP SLUT was already missing by the time the pack showed up, tending to make one think that they lost a hare on trail. Hmmmm. But Grind Slut assured us that he had to get back to Austin that night.
The pack took off through the woods, crossed a few creeks, and basically did a big circle before we would up right back at the beginning.
Trail then went down a bayou, Braes Bayou, maybe? Trail was fairly simple from there on, ending across a bridge where some guys had been barbecuing. Alas, they weren't barbecuing for the hounds, though.
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Although the following song had nothing to do with the run, I am
printing it so everybody can learn the song.
(May be done to "Johnny Comes Marching Home")
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
He had a wife with a cunt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.
So he built a bloody great wheel, ...
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel, ...
The balls of brass he filled with cream, ...
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam,...
He tied her to the leg of the bed, ...
Tied her hands above her head, ...
There she lay demanding a fuck, ...
He shook her hand and wished her luck, ...
'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel, ...
In and out went the prick of steel, ...
Up and up went the level of steam, ...
Down and down went the level of cream, ...
'Till at last the maiden cried, ...
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied, ...
Now we come to the tragic bit, ...
There was no way of stopping it, ...
She was split from ass to tit, ...
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit,...
It jumped off her, it jumped on him, ...
And then it buggered their next of kin, ...
It jumped on an uptown bus, ...
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss, ...
The last time, Sir, that prick was seen, ...
It was over in England fucking the Queen, ...
There is a moral to the story I tell, ...
If you see it coming better run like hell, ...
Nine months later a child was born, ...
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn, ...