Trail:
It's not
often that we hash in the Woodlands, as it has some beautiful woods. And the Woodlands were the only place around
Houston that wasn't raining that day.
The pack assembled in front of something that looked like a mulch
gathering station. HUMBUG gave a chalk
talk focusing on the point that all checks are 360º. He also gleefully warned us of a "Cluster F*ck" that we
would encounter on trail. Hares just
love to mess with the pack, don't they?
The hounds
took off into an open field following a generous amount of flour. Was the hares going to make this an easy
trail? Alas, this was not to be. Flour became sparse at one point, causing us
to look hither and yon for a faint glimpse of flour. Eventually, someone yelled "On Call!" and the pack went
further into the woods.
Trail went
along a dirt road and into some woods.
Coming out of the woods in our direction was DICKHEAD, who had ranged
into the woods, and was coming back.
Trail went to the left, then down into a dried creek bed. Hearing a "Check!" up ahead, I
ranged looking for flour (remembering the 360º check reminder), and climbed up
an embankment that lead to a street (it was at this point that I lost my phone,
which I found the next day). Upon
reaching the street, I find MENAGE MYSELF running up on the left, and GEEK
(while ranging) running up from the right.
I believe true trail went along the street, but I went behind a
warehouse looking for trail with WAX ON, WHACKS OFF. Someone yelled "On! On!", and we ran through some woods
behind the warehouse towards the voices, and picked up trail with several other
hounds.
We come upon
a barbed wire fence, but SMOOTH STROKER, WAX ON, WHACKS OFF and myself went a
little further to the end of the fence line, and crossed at that point.
Upon reaching
the other side of the fence, we come upon a hill that had some erosion-fighting
ground covering that looked like the scene from Alien where they find all these eggs. We run past this, ultimately coming upon a field that led us to
the highway. True trail took us across
the bridge, and into some beautiful woods that were frequented by dirt bike
riders, 4 wheelers, and trucks liking to go for joy rides along the muddy roads
in the woods.
Shiggy was
everywhere in the roads, and we ultimately ran right through it, since we were
already rather muddy. We then came upon
the "Cluster F*ck" that Humbug spoke of earlier in that we could not
find trail. PP and SALT WATER TAFFY had
run to the right, PEE WEE had run ahead, and was running back from that. PUMP ME and I ran along a levee looking for
trail, and LITTLE PUSSY and JOHN BOY ran along the tracks looking for
trail. The best thing I can say is that
the entire pack caught up with the FRB's at this point because no one was
finding trail.
Then STINKY
yells "On! On!" having crossed the railroad tracks and went down into
a small patch of woods where he found flour coming out of a small
aquaduct. It seems that the hares
wanted us to go through this aquaduct to run true trail.
The pack was
then in hot pursuit of trail, and when we exited these woods, someone yells,
"Beer Near", at which point everyone started running very fast so we
could get to the beer as quickly as possible.
All in all,
this was one of the best trails of the year, and if I can remember in December
that I said this, it has the potential for Trail Of The Year. Thirty years of hashing developed two great
hares.
The
Circle:
SHIRLEY
VALENTINE cooked some excellent Beef Curry for the grateful hounds.
PIPES
conducted the circle without his toilet for I believe the first time since he's
been RA. LOW PROFILE makes the first
accusation bringing in some keys he found on trail. I did a down down, since they were mine. Amazing, I realized I lost my phone on
trail, but didn't even notice I lost my keys, too!
Which
reminds me, I owe LOW PROFILE a six pack of beer…
***********************
(To: Scotland The Brave)
Here's
to the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who
was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash.
(pack does two
lines sounding like a bagpipe)
Then
there was the jockey with his upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who
was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash.
(do two lines
sounding like a bagpipe)
Then
there was the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Houston
Hash. (bagpipe)
Then
there was the queerie who was leering through his beery,
At the
sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash. (bagpipe)
Then
there was the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To
support the a' queerie who was leering through his beery,
At
the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Houston
Hash. (bagpipe)
Then
there was the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling
customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To
support the a' queerie who was leering through his beery,
At
the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash. (bagpipe)
Then
there was the Wenchy doing down-down on a benchy,
Making
money for the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling
customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To
support the a' queerie who was leering through his beery,
At
the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash. (bagpipe)
Now
the moral of this ditty is that when in Houston City,
And
you're with your favorite girlie,
Chasing
hairs all short and curly,
Just
remember to take her hashing and to give her a good bashing,
And
keep her away from the Wenchy doing down-down on a benchy,
Making
money for the HASHER who was posing as a flasher,
Hustling
customers from the Harlot making money in the car lot,
To
support the a' queerie who was leering through his beery,
At
the sight of the Yankee who was wanking in his hanky,
At
the thought of the jockey with the upstanding cocky,
Who
was riding on the lassie with the black hairy assey,
Who
was lifting up her kilty at the Houston Hash. (bagpipe)
30 YEARS OF HASHING
Run 1249
September 8, 2002
Hares:
Shirley Valentine and Humbug
Venue: The Woodlands
Write up by:
Rain Bitch