The Hash of the Unliving Dead started at the Full Moon parking lot in Memorial Park. Drummer Bill was seen approaching the start from the back of the lot where his car had been parked for some two hours. I wonder what he was doing back there. Anyway, at approximately 3:30 the hares called the hash to order and gave special instructions. Surface trail would have standard markings, all other trail would be marked in blue glow sticks with red falses. Instructions were taken seriously, for we all know of the Lauritzen proclivity to dark smelly holes.

Back in the bush... The trail headed South down the power lines from the start and quickly ducked into the Ho Chi Minh trail. The first and only casualty of the day was Lorna Dunes who went down with a twisted ankle. Trail continued to the East through Little Cambodia. The 3 days of rain had left the trail muddy, and there were at least two water crossings. The hares had placed three unmanned beer checks on this section of the trail. We emerged from the woods at the parks department entrance and crossed Memorial into the park proper. Everyone had come to the run fully expecting a traditional Blue Balls ultra-Hash death march so we were all surprised when we stumbled upon the On On after only 40 minutes. Nobody complained.

Geek's growing facial hair Just in patches here and there...

Roller Balls accuses Gonad the Barbarian of racing again. Once again, Gonad was seen blowing through beer checks and hashing in stealth mode. Bone Sucker attempts to accuse the ten or so hashers with new facial hair but is unable to complete the accusation in the required twenty minute time limit. Cum College accuses Blue Balls of being unable to follow his own trail. The trail was supposed to have two beer checks, but Blue Balls was unable to find where he had hidden one of them, so he had to go to the store and by more beer to replace it. Fortunately the Hash was able to find the missing beer, and Blue Balls was able to do a down down for it. The On3 was at the Boatyard. Hog Straddler and Bone Snatcher showed up late, reeking of raw fish. Stool and Gonad played on the fire engine out back.

And now, a reading from the Dictionary of Slang and Euphemism:
Flying Pasty - Human dung wrapped in paper and thrown about as an act of vandalism.
Flogging- Cully - A sadist a; a debilitated lecher who "hires girls to flog him on the posteriors in order to procure an erection".