editor's note - incomplete

The Excrement Crawl began on Houston's far north side at Westfield highschool. I hitched a ride in the brakeless SlutMobile. After a near death experience at the Richie Road exit ramp, we arrived ,and awaited the prompt 7pm start which started promptly at 7:15. The virgin hares arrived on the scene just minutes before the start. The noble stoic Small Johnson sat in silence as his cohares described the markings of their self-proclaimed "balls out" trail. The trail began with a long straightaway to the north along Ella until the marks petered out. We backtracked to a ditch and picked up trail to the West. What followed was a long series of long straight pipeline right of ways that were riddled with crawfish holes. This prompted Drummer Bill to grace me with a story from his childhood that chronicled the dangers of putting ones penis in a crawfish hole.

The trail crossed a ditch and led to a beer/water check. After doing a big loop back to the ditch (a loop that most of the pack shortcut) we came to a large sewer pipe.