The Twisted Sister Hash started behind an office park near the intersection of Kirby and Holmes Road on a hot and humid Monday evening. The sister hares Lycra Lips and Easy Rider were dressed like a couple of South Main Ho's. As the hash massed, the hares took off with a fifteen minute "live" hare head start. The next fifteen minutes were spent in the typical prehash fashion -- flatulence, exchange of insults, etc.

7:15 finally arrived and the pack took off after the hares. The trail headed South to the railroad tracks on Holmes Road where most of the hash check hung until the cry of on on was heard back to the North. Undoubtedly, FRB and stealth hasher extraordinare, Gonad the Barbarian, felt that his lead was sufficient to guarantee victory and that he could risk calling on on. The trail led to the North through an old oil field. We couldn't help but notice that the flour had that "not so fresh" look and that each piece of toilet paper flagging had been meticulously tied off. Hmmm. The terrain was interesting, the shiggy moderate. Eventually we made it out of the oil field and popped up behind astroworld where a sign read: "Twisted Beer Near". Moments later we were swilling beer at a dead end street and contemplating the 20 minute hash that had just taken place.

Roller Balls finally realizes the obvious reason that Muscle Phahrt duct tapes his warm-ups at the ankles: To keep his gerbil from escaping. Fashion critic Will-He-Peter declares Shuffle Butt "Clinton's Homo Army Poster Boy". The whole pack finishes in under 35 minutes -- even Geek.

Down Downs are proctored by Grind Slut. The hares do their down downs and Roller Balls makes a daring dash through the circle to depant Lycra Lips. There were several new boots from France. Who made them cum? Johnny Crisco (I think). A hasher is named Tamp'n (see Letch for explanation). We are interrupted by the fireworks at Astroworld which force an impromptu rendition of Swing Low and an end to down downs. At this point things get kind of hazy. I wake up Wednesday morning huddled on the floor of a bathroom stall at the downtown bus station. I understand that the On On On was at Laddie's Ice House.