By special assignment reporter, Grind Slut

A group of eager hashers gathered at 4pm in anticipation of the long awaited mismanagement run, laid by none other than the world famous leaders of the Houston Hash. The actual trail setting was done by Can't Hound and The, having promised a "real good" hash run, since all the runs lately have been "exceedingly poor, nothing more than road races with the same four or five people finishing ahead of everyone else." Baby Huey and Silent Pee were relegated the role of food whores, with myself (Grind Slut) providing the slut mobile for use as a beer check wagon.

We took off at about 4:15, straight into a large metro park and ride, over some fences, and then through a fairly ratty neighborhood (the kind of place where you here, "What you runnin' from?") Various checks led us onto a major road, where shortcutting opportunities abounded. The trail went left and into another neighborhood; Gonad and I along with a very fast newboot (Gonad said to me "We'll teach this little whippersnapper to run trail") ran down the bayou and encountered a false across a bridge. We then continued to go along the bayou and found trail on another major road, which led to a rump-splitting back-check at a fence. More long roads increased our FRB lead over the pack, which was nowhere to be seen. The arrival of Armadildo Dundee and Bushsnapper on trail revealed that they had shortcut as well.

The Beer Check...

We found the slutmobile stashed behind a row of trees in the middle of a large field. It was fairly apparent that we had arrived earlier than Bump Slut had expected, judging by the

just-milked lizard gripped tightly in his hand.

We downed several beers, waited for a few minutes, and still no sign of the pack. So we took off again, finding trail across a ditch into more woods. We close shaved more than a few property lines, but no enraged property owners appeard to chase us away.

On Home

We popped out of the woods onto a dead-end street where the hares had set up the end. A large golden retriever showed up on which (insert hash name of your choice) demonstrated his/her beastiality techniques.

The high fashion influence of the Slut Brothers was apparent, in that children from as far away as the cultural center of Brenham are sporting the buzz cut and glasses popularized by Bump Slut, as was evidenced by Puke's son, Spittle.

Gerbil Herder found a large truck tire and was jumping over it (with glee) as it rolled down the street. Beer Can Bob in a dazzling display of athletic prowess, racked himself on top of the tire when trying to join in on the fun. His lack of an outward expression of pain means either he has no balls or his balls are dried up and useless.