Author Archives: EZ to PLZ

H4 Run #1719 – The Post Marathon Mile Run

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Date: Saturday January 30, 2011
Hares: Powertool
Quote of the Run: “Racists!”

Powertool had a great fun run with a surprise ending at….Allen’s landing! No one saw that coming! It was something, unfortunately, which I missed due to death by marathon. Thank to Powertool for stepping up and helping with everything on this, the most tiring of days.

This Hash Trash was perfectly written by WowMomWow as a thank you for the Marathon Volunteers:

This time around you guys really stepped up to support a 2-day event, and helped in a very challenging year. In trying to recognize all the standouts, I know I will miss someone… but I must give it a try. So in somewhat of a chronological order….

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H4 Run #1715 – T3 and 2 Virgins Run

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Hares – Tai Tai Toy, prescription Mud In My Crick, Ramrod
Virgins – 3
Visitors – 2
Total Hashers – 81

Quote of the run: “Heartache did not short cut! He zen-hashed the trail!” –Heartache

Freezing. Of all the runs I can remember, this first Sunday of 2011 was a cold one. Indeed, the hares warned of a chilly ending, but not an @$$ freezer! Tai Tai Toy promised to sacrifice Mud and Ramrod to the hash gods “Shanghai Style” which brought out over 80 people in pure curiosity. They promised a 4-5 mile trail of urban and mixed shiggy and some holy guacamole a la CSI. We began at the Full Moon parking lot, and took a little trip into the Memorial wilderness. Hounds off at 2:30 sharp!

Now, dear hashers, your reverent and endearing On-Sec was running a wide version of the Memorial Loop earlier in the day while training for the Houston Marathon (what a rac*st), and found, what looked to be flour. Let me recount the tale…
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H4 Run #1713 – Festivus

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Hares – Grind Slut, Ass Wipe, Charity Fuck
Virgins – 10
Visitors – 5
Total Hashers – 80
Quote of the run: “It’s a Festivus miracle!”

Feats of strength! Airing of grievances! The aluminum pole! Such is the Festivus tradition brought to you yearly (and frequently by Grind Slut). This year, your hares suckered another nubile female virgin into their religious zeal. This was an apparent attempt to deflour Charity Fuck. Last year it was Circle Jerk. My how they move on quick! The hares promised a 4 mile run, the pinning of the heads (who said head?!), and other acrobatic amusement…little did they know…Festivus would take a turn for the long.

The trail began in Memorial Park, as most good things do, with a swoop around the Fruit Loop and into oncoming cyclist traffic. We passed near the ending of last year’s Festivus run, shed a tear for when we tied I Am Cumstain to the pole, and moved along, skimming Memorial before touching along Hooter Bill’s favorite shiggy. You know the one patch of shiggy by Arnot? The one so frequently used, we stopped leaving money for it on the dresser? The patch of shiggy who is so battered, we keep telling her we don’t mean it and that we just get so angry sometimes?  That one. Needless to say, the shiggy forgave us once more and we trailed along the road instead until heading towards the highway. A breeze washed over us on Washington, and the faint smell of Sunday afternoon douchebags wafted on the air. It smelled faintly of old pickles and Axe body spray. Good times.
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H4 Run #1712 – Il Castrato’s Buttered & Horny Sex Toy Run

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Date: Saturday December 19, prescription 2010
Hares: Il Castrato, apoplectic Horny Hussy, Sex Toy, Buttery Nipples
Quote of the Run: “Where are all the toys? I was told there would be toys.”

Porter! Lone Star! Odd shaped gourds on trail! Just another fun run brought to you by the zany Il Castrato and his co-hares. We met at the Park and Ride on the East Side, near a vaguely familiar stretch of the never-ending Maxey Road. In fact, Il Castrato, myself, and Krusty Kreme laid a pretty ballin’ Full Moon in the area, not to mention 2008’s Bataan Death March. Everyone expected the trail to swerve West into the park on the first go! Where else could the trail lead but to the park? When the pack was off, we veered North before hitting Maxey Road, confusing and disturbing the hounds. After a gentle jog down Maxey, we finally dove into Herman Brown park and the potential for all sorts of disaster! The shiggy was thick yet runnable and your faithful On-Sec thanks the hares. It was the first time my sweet Remy got to experience the green East of I-10 (because let’s face it, after that point you’re pretty much f@$ked).

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