Hares: McPisser, Cums Anyway

The triumphant return of Cums Anyway (a.k.a Giggles), who had been sidelined for months with poison eye-vy.

Trail started at the Full Moon parking lot in Memorial Park on Labor Day following a busy weekend that saw the first ever San Leon hash (great fun).

McPisser set off to live hare. Hash email advertisements had suggested a flashlight for trail, and as Cums Anyway gave chalk talk she mentioned that trail was marked in both flour and “biodegradable” glow-sticks.

Pack took off north along the railroad tracks, then immediately left into a portion of Memorial Park I never knew existed. Packed dirt trails led through the woods in an area similar to the bike trails south of Memorial Drive but which appeared to be much less utilised. Trail was really beautiful here, and the weather was slightly cooler than previous weeks, thanks to a threatening Hurricane Gustav (who never even bothered to drop rain on us).

Trail spit out of the park near the 610 West feeder road after a challenging backcheck that split up the pack pretty good. Trail went under 610 then north again, winding through a neighborhood and a parking garage before paralleling the south side of I-10 Here is where the flashlights came in handy: true trail led through a 100-foot tunnel under both directions of I-10 full of the thickest, most pungent shoe-sucking mud I’ve ever hashed through.

Hares have run us through some pretty nasty mud before, but this as especially bad considering the inside of the tunnel was 100 percent pitch black. I tried not to think of all the dangerous and disgusting things I was surrounded by and focused on getting through the mud with me shoes still on my feet. Others considered crossing I-10 above us, and a few people, guessing the end, bypassed this part of trail altogether.

Those who braved the tunnel found a check on the other side in the middle of a dirt field, and followed true trail directly west to Hairy Bellafonte’s house and his wonderful swimming pool.

Circle was unusually unruly but the RA managed to christen Just Elaine with the hash name “Black Bush” after she drank all of Heartache’s whiskey. Hairy Bellafonte invited everyone to pee in his pool. Momma’s Boy made an executive decision that the days hares would “nominate” hares for the following week since no one had volunteered to set trail. Virgin hares Black Bush, Platterpuss (and Shuttlecock, who later pulled out) where chosen, much tot he chagrin of several other hashers.

I hereby dub this trail “Run Through the Tunnel” (to the tune of CCR).

— Snatcha