Hares: Jane Does and Asswipe

After having been bored off my ass for more than a week thanks to Ike, I finally was able to make it to a hash run since the storm! (Yes I know I suck….working for a school district stinks when you don’t have power and can’t go to work! LOL)

Our hares for the day are Jane Does and Asswipe, promising a good mix of street and shiggy for the run today. The sad thing is that the shiggy came in the form of piles of trees on the side of the streets as we ran down them.

The pack assembled at the University of Houston in the parking lot across from the University’s Fitness Center for a 4 p.m. start. The Hare’s took off around 4:15 for a live hare trail. Pack left shortly after around 4:30.

The hares began trail by taking us on a nice long tour through the UH campus. We passed several buildings….I know it was fascinating, I could just feel myself getting smarter by running past them. Anyway, I was COMPLETELY disappointed in Asswipe for NOT taking us by either the football, baseball, OR basketball complexes being the sports fan I know him to be!

The pack then headed off campus and into the ravaged neighborhoods for a few miles. Piles upon piles of cut down trees, sticks, and blown down fences were lined along the street as we ran by some pretty amazing houses that were damaged by that bastard IKE! Okay, the sentimental part out of me now, I will continue.

Bobbing and weaving in and out of the streets, we finally came upon the Bayou, which stunk to HIGH HELL Anyway, we ran down the Bayou till we hit Scott St. and crossed the bridge to end up running down the opposite side and back into some neighborhoods.

Several followed trail, which eventually led us to Old Spanish Trail. Those that were familiar with the area, me NOT being one of them, figured we were headed towards McGregor Park. Sure enough, we found ourselves following flour through the park, which led us to a small portion of REAL shiggy trail, coming out of Spur 5. Seeing the pack at the end, we crossed and went down under the bridge and were happy to be greeted with COLD BEER!

Circle was led by McPisser in Mamma’s Boy’s absence. Not having any New Boots or visitors….although we think we have a new transplant…Matt was it?Accusations began quickly!

Considering there really were no major complaints regarding trail, we went pretty much straight to LAME accusations. Those who had electricity within 24 hours after the storm were called out to drink, and then those still without power were called out to drink.

One of the funnier moments of the day for me came when someone said “all those that live in trailers currently in the circle.” No one moved. So then he said “those who at some point in their life grew up in a trailer out in the circle.” Now while several people actually went out, it was Vanilla Starfish who was VERY excited and said “OH!!!That’s me!!” To admit it so proudly, I just love ya girl!

So as lame accusations went to even more lame, Grind Slut, who was actually DFL, came in nearly 2 hours after we began! He quickly grabbed a beer and downed it for being DFL, went to change clothes or cool off, or whatever the hell it was he was doing and returned to the circle. He called himself in and told everyone that he was trying to catch up for all the down down’s he missed and proceeded to tell us he had three to do. Such an honest hasher who was obviously in desperate need of BEER!

Finally, as the beer was getting low, I sought out Sticky Lips to chat with her about a possible naming for Just Terri. After coming up with something to do with traveling so much to other hashes with BABS, we had a potential naming of “Traveling Whore.” Knowing this wouldn’t work, but knowing the mind of McPisser, we had complete confidence that he would take the story and run with it coming up with a great name for her. So he originally came up with “Carpetbagger.” which to me was flat out funny as shit considering her family is from South Carolina. If you don’t understand what that means, go back to freaking high school and take US History you wankers!

Anyway, that got tabled and from somewhere, the name “Carpet Burns” came out. And this is where sweet little Terri messed up! She actually said out loud to the group “Oh, I’ve had a few of those in my lifetime!” And so she FINALLY screwed up on trail and was so named… Carpet Burns!

After the keg was drained and everything was said and done, the ON ON ON location was to be a hash favorite, The Flying Saucer! And so several of us moved on downtown for more beer, food, and fun!

Thanks to Asswipe and Jane Does for a great Post-Ike…that BASTARD….Hash Run!