Hares – Tai Tai Toy, prescription Mud In My Crick, Ramrod
Virgins – 3
Visitors – 2
Total Hashers – 81
Quote of the run: “Heartache did not short cut! He zen-hashed the trail!” –Heartache
Freezing. Of all the runs I can remember, this first Sunday of 2011 was a cold one. Indeed, the hares warned of a chilly ending, but not an @$$ freezer! Tai Tai Toy promised to sacrifice Mud and Ramrod to the hash gods “Shanghai Style” which brought out over 80 people in pure curiosity. They promised a 4-5 mile trail of urban and mixed shiggy and some holy guacamole a la CSI. We began at the Full Moon parking lot, and took a little trip into the Memorial wilderness. Hounds off at 2:30 sharp!
Now, dear hashers, your reverent and endearing On-Sec was running a wide version of the Memorial Loop earlier in the day while training for the Houston Marathon (what a rac*st), and found, what looked to be flour. Let me recount the tale…
So there I was, on pavement, running in the frigid morning, and while heading east on Woodway, a white speck called to me. It said, whispering delicately into my ear, “On-on.” But no! The hares wouldn’t dare lay a trail so close to the road and so visible would they? Upon further inspection, it was indeed (a.k.a tasted like) flour. I followed the trail from the bike path off Woodway, into the shiggy which crossed under the road. We’d been on those trails before, no need to follow further. I continued my run, secure in the knowledge that not only had I outwitted the hares, but I could immediately run to this location after the start.
Flash back to the Full Moon lot where we shivered and shook to keep warm. I, safe in the knowledge of my discovery, let McPisser and a few others know that I had found the holy grail of hash trails – the pre-lay. McPisser, hesitant to believe me, originally decided to run a different direction, but upon seeing the hounds get stumped at the first check, he followed. Low and behold the trail appeared, shortcutting the first check and re-appearing in the woods. Ta-freaking-dah!
Unfortunately, after that delicious discovery, I lost McPisser in the woods and somehow turned around to face the oncoming hounds. PP almost ran me off the trail. So much for the head start. That’s what I get for cheating. We paralleled the shiggy, a few virgins decided to ace forward and show off, and soon hopped up and over the train tracks (*see Festivus post about these tracks). Emerging from the shiggy and onto an urban trail, we let the FRB’s solve checks until…the check from hell.
This check was fenced in around several abandoned lots north of I-10, some with shiggy surrounding, some with fences. It felt like hours at that check, going back and forth, under the highway, into the shiggy, avoiding pitbulls in the distance. Finally someone called into the shiggy and the group sprung forth, ready for new blood.
The remainder of the trail was mostly urban, full of warehouses, abandoned buildings, and unpleasant looking neighbors. After the beer check, I distinctly remember Pearl Necklace almost eating it, and watching as the FRBs zoom by, as they favor the concrete over shiggy. We eventually encountered a narrow and nearly abandoned railroad area. This long channel was under construction and a bit rocky at times, but we could see the end in the distance. The On-In was under 290 near Hempstead Highway and, while there was beer, we had to wait for awhile for the second load of bags. In the freezing meantime, we congratulated Tai Tai on his virgin achievement as the trail was fun and the FRBs zenned for several extra miles.
I think someone was named…but I digress. Semper Pi was visiting our lovely hash from San Antonio and rumor has it, he stole the Hash Shit. That’s right, I’m outing him! Thief! Bring out your torches! Overall a good run and much fun deflouring 2 virgins at once.
Here is the picture of the thief. Do what you will.
Murderer.
On-On to the witch hunt,
-EZ to Please