Run# 1676 Hared by Geek
Run# 1677 Hared by B*tt Pirate and Grind Sl*t
BMH3 Run#7 Hared by Donnie the R*tard
Run# 1678 Hared by Platterpuss and Just Isabelle
I just wanted to say what an awesome trail that Grind Slut laid at the Campout. I’ve never run the Warrior Dash, but I doubt they had more fun than we did. My arms are still sore from climbing up the steep creek embankments by holding onto vegetation. The numerous creek crossings helped to keep us cool, and the palmetto palm scenery was great. Some things that I enjoyed on trail were the wonderfully sweet dewberries, trees covered with Spanish moss, and a noticeable lack of spider webs.
The trail was well marked, but some of the checks were challenging. Grind gave good advice at the start, when he suggested we should stay in groups and not try to do the trail alone. The group that I was with didn’t have a GPS, but we estimated that the trial, including checking, was about 6 1/2 or 7 miles. It took us about 2 hrs and 15 minutes to complete.
On-On to the PC run,
Pull the Plug
Namings
Before we all forget, here are the 6 that I remember:
Friday night:
Just Paul = “Arse Sole” — Drank out of his nasty ass K-Swiss that was missing a sole.
Saturday hash:
Just Collin aka Terminator T2000 (No relation to ID-10T) = “Manstruation” — Collin came in from the ballbuster (which was shorter than the medium trail) waaay DFL, and his face was covered in blood like he had earned his Red Wings but it was really just a nosebleed that he couldn’t stop. MANY good names were suggested and this one won. Aunt Flo, Bloody Sanchez and Bloody Goats Muff were runners up.
Naked hash:
Just Threasa = “Felatiho” — Carry-over from the 69 down down with Mommas Boy and almost naming at previous circle
Sunday hash:
Just Isabelle = “Mammaries of a Geisha” — She was defloured at the circle as this was her virgin lay. Dick Assley noticed that her bust size dramatically increased due to the flour and that the flour on her face made her look Geisha-like
Just Mark: “Loofa” — Made his g/f “Mammaries” go take a shower to clean off the flour. He accompanied her and cleaned her. So we hear…
Just Rick: “Oxymoron” — Rick wore a Viking helmet most of the weekend, and it was pointed out that he, like the Vikings should enjoy good beer. He was drinking Miller Light.
onon,
MCP
PS. Thank you Mismanagement and all the cooks, hares and Engineers. Good Times
Saturday morning of the campout, groggy imbibers emerge from their tents to be embraced by the smell and taste of an unbelievable breakfast courtesy of the campout cook team. The morning progresses via multiple bloody mary’s, mimosas and tapping of the day’s keg… on into the olympics. The 2010 Hash Olympics included three events: the maiden balloon romp (aka sloppy seconds), eat my taco, and tally my banana. I do not recall who the official winner was, but I can remember my banana getting broken halfway through the event via an aggressive harriette.
The ball buster trail was hared by B*tt Pirate. I myself chose to wait for Grind’s 3pm wanker trail.
The start was made official by the Rio Bravo park owner by setting us up at the motorcross starting gates. Participants, that I can recall, were Puke, Pull the Plug, Tap Dat A*$, EZ to Pleaz, Head Banger, Dr. C**tchie, Hooter Bill, Snatchaterryass and a few more. Mama’s Boy and McP ran the trail early in the day so they could participate in the Zippy trail hared by Donnie the R*etard.
Grind’s trail headed east across the motorcross track and then south into the trails of Rio Bravo. Soon, we were across a concrete embankment and into the palmetto forest south of the camp area.
Across Garrett Rd and into the forest area, we discovered a back check down a long straightaway. The trail was found heading towards Greens Bayou only to be lost again as we approached the bayou.
The trail picked up again IN the bayou itself, where the pack had to walk upstream 100 yards or so, exiting on the east side. I can still hear Muscle Phart b*tch about getting his fee wet… potential renaming, sugar & spice.
EZ to Pleaz and Tap Dat A*$ led most of the way, possibly because of the skimpy bikini EZ was wearing, or the fact that the pack was using them to clear out the spiderwebs.
Past the rancid blackberry patch, many streams were crossed and 20 foot vertical climbs were conquered via clawing and grasping of the native grasses of the land. A double check threw the pack off momentarily, but trail was found continuing north.
A temporary southern direction was taken as the pack floated down 50 yards of the best rapids Greens Bayou has to offer and back to Rio Bravo and the campground.
Circle was very festive, with multiple namings, some fel*tio, Lone Pint Beer, accusations and such.
and on-on to the nekkid hash!
Be@ts My Me@t
In my particular instance, the hangover run was a very apt title, as I was nursing a severe hangover from the night before. You see, once everyone started losing articles of clothing the night before, I realized I was very much behind in my drinking. To catch up, I chugged a bottle of rum. It worked, to an extent. Now, on-on to the hash trash…
And the pack was off. It started pleasant enough, with the sun shining overhead and the trail easy to follow. The front of the pack solved the checks with ease as the trail led away from the campground.
The trail was uncovered for the first part, flanked by head-high grass. As it progressed forward, it became increasingly muddy. Being the hungover bastard that I was, I lagged to the back of the pack.
Soon, the flower markings became further and further apart, as those dastardly hares–Platterpuss and the newly-named Mammaries of a Geisha–tried their best to screw us over. At one point, there was a fork in the road. I was with Bump Her Stick Her, and we saw flower leading to the left. Despite there being no check, the trail ended on the left fork, and we both felt like we had been blowjobbed (is that the correct tense)? Thinking we had learned our lesson, the two of us progressed on the right fork, following a muddy creek bed teeming with mosquito and mosquito larvae. Before we knew it, however, there was neither flour nor footprints. We had lost trail.
Being the good hashers that we were, we didn’t mind too much. At one point, we heard a crashing behind us. A deer leaped out from the brush and stumbled across the muddy creek bed. A very cool experience indeed.
Just when I thought I would be eating mosquitoes for dinner that night, we heard a “check!” to the right of us. Estrus and Grind Slut were on true trail. Joining them, we formed a mini-pack that attempted to follow Platterpuss and Geisha’s trail as it constantly zigged and zagged–marked only in flour–through head-high grasses. Running was not an option, as it would have been easy to run right by turns on flour.
Finally, the trail was marked in toilet paper. Being easier to follow, we were able to pick up the pace until the trail opened up to a large drainage ditch. While the shiggy was gone, the four of us continued on-on back toward camp. From that point on, trail was easy to follow, as it hugged the road eastward back toward Rio Bravo, happily burping up rum as I went.
Circle was amazing as usual. I, Thornholio, was called out numerous times for: (1) puking outside my tent; (2) waking up at 7:00 am the next morning and driving home to sleep because I couldn’t stand the smell and was still hungover; and (3) being saran wrapped with Ewe Do Her and Manstration. My circle-time ended with a “Bitch” print on my ass, courtesy of 8″ Crack’s bitch slapper.
Other highlights from the circle included: Grind Slut locking his wife inside their home, driving off to let her out with a beer in his hand, and returning to the circle after driving home so that he could refill his beer; Just Isabel being named Mammaries of a Geisha; and Just Rick being named Oxy Moron.
Now, if you want to know anything else about the campout, just ask the owner of Rio Bravo, I hear he got the whole weekend on video and will be putting it up on youtube later this week.
onon to this Sunday’s nurse’s hash, hared by Pimp Doggy Dog and Butt Pirate.
on-on
-Thornholio
Saturday Midnight Hash, Houston Campout weekend
So a couple of months ago, Pull the Plug caught me at an on-on-on. I was feeling pretty good, and he pulled me aside to ask if I would “help” with body painting at the Houston campout. I was feeling fairly brave, so I said “ok”. As time passed, I found out that my duties also included haring the Midnight run. Oh Boy! What have I got myself into? I was a little nervous about it, but figured if I was feeling good enough at the campout, I could do it. How could I let down Pull the Plug?
I started to plan and spent a couple of days shopping, preparing Jello shots, schnapps, paint etc. I went in sex shops, looking for just the right paint. Yeah that’s the reason. BTW, Hobby Lobby probably has the best paint, but if you want to look at the other stores, have fun!
So campout begins. Friday is crazy, Saturday is full of Hash Olympics, drinking, debauchery, and hashing.
Pull the Plug, in all his wisdom, helps me find a good location for the Black Light tent, and gets that taken care of early on. Pretty smart! I was feeling pretty wiped in the late afternoon, so decided on a nap. 10:15 pm, I hear someone waking me up. I almost slept through the hash I was to Hare!
I spring up, grab the paints, and get my co-hare, the soon to be named OxyMORON. We start painting, then WHOOSH, naked bodies everywhere! Beats my Meat, to my surprise, was the first to strip down! Everyone gets into the action and help draw designs. The fluorescent colors under the black light were awesome. Painting bodies that night we were as innocent as sucking chocolate off a banana or lick chocolate out of a taco.
Soon the paint brushes are put down and hands are smearing paint on bodies everywhere. The crowd wanted an early start, so we finished together fast. For some reason, we did not pull out the flavored body paints, so I guess I will have to save those for a special occasion. (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Glow bracelets were all around. Body parts that wrapped in glow sticks and placed in crevices that I am not sure I want to remember seeing. My-co-hare in the buff and I in my Sarong (or was it sa-right?) we were ready to lay trail.
I laid the flour while me co-hare pulled the cooler. We asked the pack for a 3 minute head start. First stop went toward some of the cars, trying to trick the pack and get them lost! (hee hee) Three minutes seem like forever when you are 40 feet away, but it gave me a chance for a Jello shot! YUM!
The pack found us, Jello shots around, and we’re off to the next stop. Following some of the motorcross track, we found a convenient place to stop 20 yards down. The pack was way too clever at this point, and found the schnapps in the cooler that I was saving for the third stop. Damn those FRB’s. So now we are schnapps and Jello shots around.
To my surprise, after the 3rd stop, we head to one side of the tents, and almost lose the pack!! Ok gang! You can SEE us, and you are off trail! Hares whistling to draw pack the right way! A couple more stops and we end the hash on top of one of the Motorcross hills. Momma’s Boy agrees to be the RA of our hash. Accusations all around. A few more beers were brought up from the hash tent for midnight circle.
A good time was had by all. On-On-on activities continued with communal showering with 40 of my closest friends.
A big thanks to Pull the Plug, OxyMORON and Momma’s Boy for all the help!
Old Faithful