Hares: Tender Vittles and One Inch Wonder
Well, well, well. He’s at it again. Tender Vittles lays another trail for the Houston Hash, this time with One Inch Wonder. How many does this make for this year? 12? 13? Too many to count, that’s how many! Continue reading
Hares: Ez 2 Please, RamRod
Well, after months and months of going away parties, it had to happen sometime; Easy to Please was finally getting the hell out of Texas. Good riddance. Continue reading
Last years Feastivus, unofficial trail of the year 2010, was the unofficial trail of the year for 2010. This hasher is a little biased: it was my first H4 run and managed to earn a name that day singing a certain punk song on a stage with chicken wire. Continue reading
Hares: I F*cked Your Dad, Rancid A$$hole, Duke of Puke
Treating the hounds like the dogs they are, the hares decided to start their trail at the Ervan Chew Park at the standard summer time of 4 pm. Little did the pack realize that hanging out under the trees was the most shade they would have the entire run. Continue reading
Hares: Too Drunk to Fuck and Catcher in the Brown Eye
Non virgin hash but a kick ass virgin ending that is soon to be taken back over by the city. It had two water crossings.
Hares: Butt Pirate, Heartache, Pull the Plug
What do you get the man who has everything? How about a hash run! With the help of his trusty co-hares, Butt Pirate was able to enjoy the company and complaints of his best friends as they were sent into the wilds of Pasadena. Continue reading
Hares: Ramrod and Tender Vittles (again)
Let’s go back a couple of days. July 10, discount 2011. 4 pm. Townwood Park. Everything seems normal. Hash cash is paid, hashers are stretching, drinking, voting and talking. The pack is milling about waiting for the hares, Tender Vittles and Ramrod, to announce chalk talk. Little did they know, there is someone else. Someone else is waiting for the hounds to take off. Someone else is hanging around….
Hares: McPisser & Tender Vittles
So there we were; it was 4pm, shop pills at Kitty Hollow Park, bronchi in 1000 degree heat, in the middle of Missouri City and what were we doing? Getting ready to run! The hares, Tender Vittles and McPisser, promised two kegs of beer, an American and European trail and “virgin” territory.
But something wasn’t right. There was only one hare! Then there it was, the sound of squealing tires and an engine being pushed to the limit. Tender Vittles came roaring through the parking lot, leapt from his car Continue reading
Hares: McPisser and Tender Vittles
I really liked this hash. It pissed me off to no end and there was ants at the circle. Plus TV and McP laid a trail that circle jerked a couple times. Which reminds me of a time back in the 90s. My friends and I were sitting around with a bag of cookies when someone said ‘Hey, I’ve got an idea.’
Long story short I ended up in my neighbors tree watching the hockey game on a portable TV. At was at this time I thought ‘I really need to rethink taking any kind of drug a friend gives me. Also, I need new friends.’
Hares: Horse-Fli Drive-by, Spin Cycle
The thing about Horse and Spin if you’re not careful you may end up with them fucking on top of you if you’re not careful.
At last year’s InterHash I was nearly fucked on by these two ‘perfect race’ hashers and honestly I’m pretty sure I would have been ok with it in the long run. That night I wasn’t into it. It seemed like the safety committee met a lot that night, we had so many safety meetings I could have prevented the BP oil spill. I was alone, in my hammock dreaming of playing shuffleboard with Salma Hayek on the deck of my big yacht and by playing shuffleboard I mean hiding my dingus in her who-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, the fuck twins. So there I was in hammocks up to here when I hear some shuffling of a drunken couple ‘It’s just over here. Ok, be quiet.’ The cocoon of my hammock flung open to looks of surprise from HFDB & Spin. I could hear HFDB’s nut slink into his stomach as he walked away dejected. The next day I swear I saw HFDB carrying a bed post around with the amount of places these two fucked. Put it this way, if you weren’t almost fucked on then you were doing it wrong.
Anyhoo, this trail probably had sex remnants on it from scouting, live haring and post run coitus. I’m saying they fuck a lot.